There is a conspiracy it seems to keep us on tenterhooks about the needs of the fair sex read women.
Open any beauty magazine and you’ll see article upon article about what women want in a man, relationships and how to get that.
I have been wondering why there is rarely any space for men to express their relationship needs. Is it because we are told not to be wimps, suck it in boy; you are a man.
Must be the reason we have many guys married to the uncaring Manchester United and relentlessly losing Arsenal. This is neither here nor there.
Here is what from my heart of hearts I feel every man needs from a relationship with that special woman they have risked their heart to.
To feel like your Superman
We want to be your Superman. We want you to see us imaginatively at least as leaping tall buildings like Workers House in the Ugandan sense in a single spring and catching bullets not in the literal sense of this of course because that recklessness can hasten your journey to widowhood.
We want to carry you in our arms and show you the world. All men at least those raised with a sense of responsibility know that it’s their job to work at this and get there.
Be the knight in shining armour! Ladies need to know that nothing gives us more strength than a woman who creates a space that makes us feel invincible.
If you make us feel invincible, we’ll pay you back by making you feel like you’re the most beautiful creature ever to walk on earth; heaven too.
There’s this song by Wyclef Jean and a lady called Sharissa,’You take me as Iam!’ This is a one song that defines acceptance.
We crave acceptance and everyone wants to know that they are loved by the other party not only when it is convenient to be loved.
We could do with the confidence that even when we stack the dishes in the sink like a five year-old, say the wrong stuff in front of your friends, leave the toilet seat up as we do our business, get too logical instead of emotional, forget something you’ve said a million times, that you still love us anyways.
Inside every man there is a little boy who forgets he is a man sometimes. And every boy gets into things, not because he’s bad but because he’s got a curious mind and a short attention span.
We are a work in progress. Unreserved support from our woman is what will crack us out of our boyish behaviour and instil in us a desire to be a stronger and a better man.
Only when you accept us as we are, who we are, will we want to become someone better.
Not to be closed out.
So many women refuse tell their men how they feel because they don’t want to distabilise the status quo. Or they’re afraid that the man does not or will not give a hoot about their inner feelings.
It is genuine to say that when you don’t express yourself, we feel really locked out and helpless. We sincerely want to listen except that it is very difficult for a man to listen without giving a solution or trying to fix things.
Understand that side of us too. A man feels frustrated if he only has to listen to the woes of his woman without having to do something about it.
Blame it on the wiring system. It is beyond our control sometimes; trying to fix things. Do not leave us in the dark by assuming you know how we will respond.
We don’t really know the truth or the depth of your concerns until you share them We are not mind readers and quite often body language can be misleading.
We want you to share and do your whole life with us not only the likeable parts.
It is almost common knowledge these days that couples grow and get stronger overcoming hard times together and not by doing life separately.
Ladies need to know that every time you hold things in for whatever reasons you choose, you are building unnecessary walls inside the sacred space of the relationship.
Hold this in mind though, we don’t want you to verbally plague us, but believe it or not, we really do want to know how you truly feel.
Mind Blowing Sex
Men do not want sex, they need sex. Not just any sex but mind blowing sex, the kind of sex that’s like fireworks and keeps your intentions straight when you’re out in the world of temptations.
We need to face it, men are going to look. They’re like wind-vanes. They finally face the direction where the strongest wind is blowing. Men get distracted by shiny things and curves in the right places.
Know this though, there’s a difference between noticing and wanting. Mind blowing sex gets a man to say, “Yes, she looks pretty but I would not trade in what I have for anything else.”
Mind blowing sex isn’t just good sex. It’s a unique bonding with someone that makes you let your imagination run riot about them in the shower, at work and can make you call in sick so you can lie in bed all day making love and throwing pillows. It produces an attachment that cannot happen with anyone else.
This part of relating seems the trickiest, there are even fellows pursuing further studies in this aspect of life. Without communication, a relationship will be baseless.
We want our women to communicate directly. We don’t get clues and crossword puzzles.
We need things spelled out. You don’t just want us to help around the house; you want us to want to do it. We get it.
Alright, then say it, do not keep on reminding us about how exhausted you feel as a clue for me to go assist with the dishes.
These two are unrelated not even by the furthest stretch can they sound the same. Say it.
For many of us, communication is not our field of specialty. We need some guidance. Generally speaking, as men we tend to pull from a logical place and women pull from an emotional place.
If you can meet us at logic we will match your emotions without frustrating either party with a bit of luck of course. But we need you to say it.
There’s nothing sexier than working out with your intimate partner be it an evening jog or outright barbell lifting.
Watching you sweat and work on your body only encourages us to work on ours as well. Complaining about my potbelly in comparison with Ronaldo’s chiselled body while I silently and respectfully abhor and bear your stretch marks is very annoying.
We get to see the raw and real you as we break sweat together so you do not come telling me how your trainer is good and making me think he was touching my girl in all sorts of ways.
Know this, when we break sweat together, we are in actual sense building something, a bond and a lifestyle together.
To have our own lives
We may not voice it out, unless one of these days we figure out how tell the person we love to get a life without rocking the boat.
For all intents and purposes; we really want you to have your own life. Honestly. We want you to have your own set of friends, activities, and passions.
Of course we want to be supportive of everything you care about and be a part of anything you would like us to be a part of, but we want you to have your own identity.
It is a union not assimilation. Do not kill your dreams on account of someone that might not hold you in high regard as time moves past us.
To be very frank, if you have nothing that is yours, the relationship is incomplete and severely imbalanced. If you have your own life, it forces us to get our own life as well or risk losing you.
You must be familiar of the anchor theories in relationships where the procrastinating partner is holding back the progressing one. For us to make headway you provide a wheel and I provide a wheel and we shall have a smooth ride.
No broken hearts in the next generation.