Science Says That Blow Jobs Are Good For Women’s Health And Fight Depression

This study actually went viral about 18 months ago, despite taking place in 2002, but we didn’t pick up on it, and I thought it might be good for everyone fighting the January blues if we reminded everyone about its findings.

Basically, researchers at the State University of New York (obviously a really reliable authority, but hey) called Gallup and Burch, along with psychologist Steven Platek hypothesised that women who had unprotected sex and gave regular blow jobs would in general be happier and perform better on cognitive tests.

This was due to the ‘mind altering drugs’ (their words not mine) that are found in the male ejaculate including: cortisol which is known to increase affection; estrone and oxytocin that both elevate mood; thyrotropin-releasing hormone and seretonin which are both antidepressants; and melatonin which is a sleep induing agent.

To try and prove this hypothesis, they performed a study of 293 anonymous women from the university’s Albany campus which asked them to fill out a questionnaire comparing their sex lives with their mental health.

They used the control of recent sexual activity without a condom to determine how much semen was present in a woman’s body, and utilised the Beck Depression Inventory (which is commonly used in a clinical environment to determine symptoms of depression).

Maybe these aren’t the two best measures of both variables sure, but both are pretty hard to determine in any case. Give the researchers a break.

Following the questionnaire, the conclusions drawn were the following:

– Even after adjusting for the regularity of sex, women who didn’t use condoms were said to be way happier than women who always had safe sex.

– They were also way more happier than women who didn’t have sex at all.

– Critically, it was also determined that women who had loads of sex with condoms were about the same level of happiness as women who never had sex at all, i.e. pretty depressed.

So basically – if you want to interpret it as loosely as possible – this research is recommending girls go out and have unprotected sex and give frequent blow jobs because ultimately it will make them happier.

There was also some (even vaguer) research performed that suggested women with a lot of semen in them performed better at cognitive and concentration tasks, which is another plus point of it too.

The implications of this research can be taken in three different ways for women I guess – either a) become really wild and promiscuous and go out and have sex with different men every night, don’t use protection and be really filthy in the bedroom or b) do all of those things but without the promiscuity part and with one guy only, who would hopefully be your boyfriend or c) don’t do either of those things and abstain or keep having boring sex with condoms for the rest of your life and be really unhappy.

On the flipside, every guy in the world though is no doubt going to interpret this as semen = happiness = more blow jobs for me, and you can’t really blame them because it’s probably the news most of them have been waiting all their lives to hear. And yeah, everyone reading this probably knows I’m not joking about that either, it’s just the world we live in.

Of course, in the interests of equality and not being completely sexist (although it seems as though the study was undertaken more with women in mind than men) I do have to point out that this is just one study, that nobody has really ever followed up on and it did have a fairly low numbered control group of women who were all from the same place and of the same age, so you can’t REALLY say that anything about it is that conclusive. It’s just one study without any real follow up research to back up its findings.

But then again, you can say that about pretty much any study in social science because it’s so difficult to actually compare any variables within the discipline. The fact is the study exists and made some findings – it’s up to you what you choose to do with that information. Pick wisely though, your whole future happiness might depend on it.

One thought on “Science Says That Blow Jobs Are Good For Women’s Health And Fight Depression”

  1. any form of sex is good only when both partners are mentally RELAXED it does not matter when and where.,it is very TRUE it does effect psycological to both partners and builds more trust forward………………………

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