HYENA’S TALES | RedPepper – We broke off yesterday when I was narrating how I was thumped for chewing my friends girlfriends when in fact, it were the girls who came onto me. I wish my friends knew, broke dudes should stay away from beautiful glamour girls.
Anyways, as I was still celebrating conquering Peace, I received a call from Suzan.
I had saved her number and was planning on forwarding it to Ibra in Dubai – who would get her nudes or chew her for me when he next dropped in.
So, when she called, I was very surprised. After formalities, she told me there was someone that wanted to talk with me. “That’s Peace!” I thought, however, on answering, it was Edith.
That she had a problem for which she needed my help. I instantly knew she wanted some money. And I thought, she was to ask me to send it through mobile money. Which, actually she did.
Apparently, Edith had lost 500k of her tuition, so she wanted me to lend her 500k to clear, that she would pay me as soon as she got it.
On hearing that, I asked if she had collateral. Campusers normally stake phones and laptops, but Edith didn’t have any security. But she begged me to trust her, that she was a trustworthy person.
“Also my money makes interest. So if I give you 100k, it makes 10k each month, meaning the 500k you want will produce 50k each month,” I said thinking it was a honest loan request,
only for her to ask where we could meet.
I was in Wakiso, so I suggested meeting in town. Like two hours later, we met around Majestic. Being the gentleman, I am, I bought her some snacks over which Edith re-told me – her problem.
We ended up in a lodge where I drilled her for two days. Since she had used Suzan’s phone to call, I thought, I wouldn’t have a chance with Suzan. But several days later as I prepared myself to travel to Mombasa for some business, I unexpectedly pumped into Suzan.
We were both flabbergasted to see each other. After formalities, she asked where I was going and I was “Mombasa.” Only for her to be like “Mombasa, Kenya! Can I come along?”
To which I was, “you’re welcome.” Then she was, “but I don’t have a passport.” To which I replied telling her Sevo, the old man with a hat, had solved that. “Anyone with national identity is free to travel across the East African federation.”
On hearing that, Suzan begged for a moment to go pick some clothes. To which I was, “that’s not necessary, we shall buy in Nairobi.”
My original plan had been to travel by bus, but with the opportunity to dance pretty Suzan and complete the trio, I decided to drive my beemer which would give us the desired privacy.
Without even worrying that I could end up killing her, or even selling her to organ harvesters, Suzan jumped into the co-drivers side and off eastwards, I drove.
Mind you, I had never kwana her so I wasn’t sure if Suzan would behave like Shamim whom, I drove all the way to Kigali, Rwanda and when I tried eating her animal, she refused mbu we are just friends.
By the time we arrived in Mukono, my lips were already itching for hers, but I restrained myself fearing that if I asked for a kiss in Uganda, she could end up cancelling the trip.
So, I would do that as soon as we crossed into Kenya. I foresaw us kissing in places like Bungoma and Eldoret. Three hours later, we were in Malaba, Kenya. I got to sumchie Suzan.
“Don’t start that. Do you want Edith to kill me,” Suzan hissed after a two minutes french kiss. Without denying Edith, I replied saying “mujawo simuyekera.” Next, I told her it was I to worry of her boyfriend. “Am single like a snake,” Suzan said.
By the time we arrived in Nairobi, we had kissed like one thousand times. Suzan had taken over two thousand selfies. I had twice tried hitting it in the bush, but she had refused. The last time she had said, “lwaki opapira ekiwagu ate nga enkota yiyo?”
On arriving in Nairobi, we did some shopping, then checked into a hotel, but Suzan was very tired. “All my body is hurting, I’ve never traveled a journey this long,” she said and then collapsed to the bed, farted and snored for about five hours.
Meanwhile, yours truly was suffering with an almighty hard-on.
But, I couldn’t serve myself because Suzan had not bathed. Anyways, around 1am she woke up and was like, “ooooh, I’ve never been this tired! I’ve slept like a dead body.”
We ended up in a shower and after bathing each other, we hit the bed from where, Suzan showed me the source of River Nile; omugga Kira, if you get my drift.
I for one showed her that whereas, it was her tribe praised for akembarara, it was we the Banyoro – who perfected it.
When I turned her for a doggie, she protested mbu she doesn’t like that style. I told her it was the best for her since she had big booty.
Suzan looked at me and said the big booty was ‘for sitting.’ Moments later, though, she turned out to be a deep sea arch doggie girl.
From Nairobi, we drove south through Machakos and hours later, we were in humid Mombasa.
We made merry in Mombasa for three days. While we were enjoying ourselves, Edith told ko Peace how she had detoothed me 500k. Peace repled telling her to stay clear of mwah because I was hers.
They ended up fighting and Out of jealousy, Peace told Edith’s suitor. Meanwhile, Suzan had posted lots of photos on her Facebook and Intstagram. Yet, I had told Victor of my journey to Mombasa.
So as Mugisha and Godfrey were grappling with the news of mwah boning their belles, Victor, whom, I had told of my journey, checked Suzan’s Facebook only to see her posts in Mombasa.
I too had posted some and they matched. Meanwhile, Peace sent me and audio note thanking me for boning Edith. “I hope you used condoms because she’s in TASO,” she said.
Edith had earlier sent one to inform me of how Peace, my prostitute, had beaten her up.
Both chicks had informed Suzan, who was furious over my chewing Peace. As we were discussing that, Victor sent her an audio note thanking her for running off with me to Mombasa.
“My cameras are watching your every step and I will be here waiting for you,” Victor cried. After which, Victor sent me an audio vowing to kill me. “We are going to skin you alive!” Mugisha shouted in the background.
“Am going to chop off your animal!” Godfrey yapped. “You’re not easy!” Suzan giggled. “You nailed us all! Who is the sweetest?” I expected her to ask for transport to travel back, but she undressed and ordered me to bone her until am tired because henceforth, she didn’t want to hear of my dipping it in any other woman apart from her and my wife.
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From Mombasa, I avoided the Romeos, who in turn used a chick claiming I had given her my number to track me down. On meeting the chick in Makidye, Godfrey, Mugisha and Victor were present and thumped me.
I was saved by askaris and boda riders who knew me. As I was nursing those wounds, Hanifa, one of my baby mamas found out that I had impregnated her mother’s kid sister who is supposed to be my nazala. Hanifa vowed to chop off my viper despite her auntie having provoked me.
I will give you the juicy details soon.
Till then, I remain yours truly, Mr. Hyena.