This is going to be a long post, but if you are getting ready to say “I Do” or if you’ve already said it to the man of your dreams then believe me it is going to be worth it!
Your hubby and the health of your relationship will thank you for diving in and soaking this information up! So, get comfortable, focus, and get your read on!
I’ve come to realize that a sizzling hot topic for many wives is “How to initiate SEX?!?” If you are having troubles in this area, just like so many other wives, then you are going to be excited to read these tips.
Most wives typically wait for their husbands to hunt and chase them down. Failing to initiate is one of the biggest mistakes most women make. So then, why don’t wives initiate more often?
It’s because making the first move is intimidating and we are afraid. Most of us freak out because we are scared that we will be shot down.
Ladies, REMEMBER you are already married! You are ahead of the game. You know he loves you and wants you!
Each spouse wants to feel desired and pursued. What most wives don’t realize is that it is intimidating for their husbands as well.
Most husbands would be turned on by the very thought of their wife pursuing them.
The best way to turn your spouse on is by showing him that you want to get your hands all over him.
This doesn’t mean you have to jump his bones the minute you see him, or that you have to act like a porn star, or that you need a stripper pole.
What this means is that you’ve got to get a little creative in letting him know that you want him between the sheets.
Following one or several of the strategies below is sure to give you a few ideas and get your hubbies blood racing.
1. Talks & promises
This talk with your husband should happen out of the blue, maybe after dinner one night. Start off the conversation with a few compliments:
“I love you and I really love the sex that we have,” or “I want to make love with you more often because I love it,” or “I would like to initiate it more often or at least let you know that I’m in the mood.”
Then say, “What could I do to show you my desire for you?” Give him a day to think of some ideas.
The following night during dinner ask specific questions: When is he in the mood most or when is he in the mood the least.
Let him know that you really like sex (insert time here) and follow it up by recalling a steamy sex session you had at that time. Find out if he has a fantasy about you initiating.
Tell him of a fantasy of your own where you initiate. (These talk ideas come from The Knot’s Nest Forum.)
These ideas should be enough to get the ball rolling. If you are like me, the more specific the details the more direction I have!
You will be glad you had this talk because now you will have a road map of your honey’s lust likes and dislikes. You will know what direction you should take when initiating.
2. Build sexual confidence
This tip is for you if you find yourself feeling silly at the very thought of initiating sex. I’ve read a few articles and they all say that the first thing a women needs is confidence.
Your man is with you because he loves you inside and out. He wants your body as much as you want his.
So there’s nothing to be shy about! If you still need help in this area follow tip number one.
To help boost your confidence in the moment, put on an outfit you feel sexy in, brush your teeth, dab on a little blush and lip gloss, and remember you’re hot!
3. Kiss him
Catch him off guard with a passionate kiss. Just lean over, press yourself into him, and kiss him till he wants more. Caress his neck, squeeze his butt, and gently bite his lip. Believe me he is going to want more and more and more!
4. Rub him down
Offer to give him a sensual massage. Start with him on his back. Use your hands, breasts, or other body parts to rub him up and down.
Turn him over and do it all over again. Pay particular attention to his sensitive parts. This massage will for sure end with a happy ending!
5. Shower together
When your hubby gets in the shower give him a few minutes to himself, then join him!. Seductively soap him up real good and be sure not to miss all the real dirty bits. Once you get him all cleaned up be prepared to get dirty al over again!!!
6. Sext your man
Let your man know that you are feeling frisky and are hot for him throughout the day.
Text him with messages about the sexy thoughts you are having about him. Let him know that you want to do something about all your naughty thoughts later that day.
Send sexy pictures or write an explicit message about what you are going to do to him when he walks through the door.
He will be dying to get home and there’s no chance of him being late. Things will go smoothly if you compliment, communicate, and coordinate.
7. Dine him
Decorate the table with lace, candles, and fine china. Keep your romantic meal in the oven warming.
Prepare a dessert tray with body desserts like chocolate sauce, whipped cream, melted peanut butter, and honey.
When he arrives home let him find you in nothing but an apron or a scandalous outfit holding the dessert tray. Take his hand and explain to him that dinner can wait, you are having dessert first!
8. Get into bed
Pretend that you are sleepy and ready for bed. Ask him to tuck you in with a snuggle or two. When he climbs in ask if he is tired.
If he says no, ask if you could borrow him for a few minutes. Get handsy and let him know what you want.
9. Take a risk
When out in public mention that you would like to be a little adventurous. Most men like being frisky in a risky situation because it gets their adrenaline pumping! Nothing creates intense passion like knowing you might get caught.
10. Touch him
Your man wants to know that you want him. A good way to let him know you want him all over you is by caressing and teasing him in sexy ways.
Walk past him and gently swipe your fingers across his butt. Mention that you love the way his booty looks in those jeans.
Caress his inner thigh while you are sitting next to each other. Tell him how you love the feel of those legs around you.
Sensual caresses and banter throughout the day will leave him longing for you.
11. Wake him up
During the middle of the night or the early morning put on something sexy then wake him, pop a mint in his mouth, and lay a huge kiss on him.
Let your hands travel to all his happy regions and you’re sure to start your day off right.
12. Straddle him
When he is distracted by the TV, computer, or games, straddle him so you are facing him. Place your breasts up against him, making sure he has the perfect view of them, and rub them against his chest.
It will be hard for him to concentrate on anything else but what’s right in his face!
13. “I want you” signals.
A signal takes all the pressure off of initiating. You decide the signal and what it means. Together you can create a code word, put on specific obvious outfits, play a familiar love song, light a candle, place a sex toy on his pillow, lay a rose across his towel, or a soft caress on a certain body part. When the signal is made you will both have a clear understanding of what the other wants.
14. Take turns
If you notice that one of you is initiating more often balance things out by taking turns. One idea is buying a supply of marbles in two different colors, one for each of you. When you initiate sex place your color marble in a jar.
Continue to do this over a month’s time. At the end of the month strive to have the equal amounts of his and her marbles in the jar.
Another option is splitting the week up between the two of you. You take three days in a row to initiate sex, then one day off for you and your hubby, and your hubby takes the last 3 days of the week to initiate sex.
You and your husband should make the move at least once in your three days.
15. Be direct
Instead of giving hints and clues here and there take a direct approach. Tell your spouse that you would like to be intimate with them.
Ask when the two of you can make that happen. Or, mention that are feeling really sexy tonight and would like to make love, or say that you are really turned on and need him.
You could announce that you are going to have sex and ask if he would like to join you. Or just simply walk around naked.
Clear positive communication will more likely create a positive reaction.
Remember, just because your husband wants you to initiate doesn’t mean he wants you to run the whole show! Once he realizes that you are chasing him down, which will take all of three seconds, he will be so turned on that he will be jumping you! Soon you will notice that your sexual satisfaction has increased because you are taking the initiative to get it when you want it.
You will also notice that equally pursuing each other will increase the intimacy and intensity in your relationship because you both feel desired and wanted.
As you continue to practice initiating with these simple seduction techniques you will boost your sexual confidence and soon you will be a teasing siren ready to try bolder moves between the sheets.